I’m back! I fell off the face of the Earth a while ago, and just got back. I offer neither excuse nor explanation. Instead, I’m getting right back into blogging. With an absence that long, it’s basically starting over! This will be fun.
A new take on serious slogans.
Seriously.
* * *
Don’t do drugs. You’ll turn into that guy who always wants to borrow money. You say you’ll pay it back, but we all know you won’t. Because you have no teeth left.
Say no to drugs; say yes to the dress.
Stop breast cancer. We are tired of chopping off the only good things in this world.
Fight AIDS. With your fists. Fisting. It doesn’t transmit AIDS.
Not even once. Ok, maybe once, but certainly not twice. Ok ok, as long as you only do it occasionally.
Invisible children. Are hard to find. Need infrared.
Make Kony famous, and win him that record deal. He needs your votes, America.
Smoking kills. Slowly. Oh so slowly. Savoring it. Mmm.
Choose life. And while you aren’t killing yourself we’d like you not to kill anyone else either. Please?
Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery. Right after cloning.
Race for the cure. Whoever gets there first gets to live.
Don’t drink and drive. You might kill someone who doesn’t hate themselves.
It’s what’s on the inside that counts. You know, cholesterol, carbs, calories, fat, and ice cream.
It’s your own fault. No way I’m going to take responsibility. Nuh uh.
Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. Revenge.
Animals are people too. People who don’t wear clothes and taste delicious.
Depression hurts. Suicide hurts worse. Don’t do it.
Sincerely,
I apologize.
SIR 